I have crazy, freaky, weird, and psychedelic dreams. Not just “I dreamt I was naked in public” dreams or dreams of cheating on your significant other. No no. Ever since I was a little girl, logic has had no part in my sleeping mind, and stories of komodo dragons, mysterious monsters, and situations too impossible to even consider in any storybook were everywhere in my dreams despite my real life being fairly normal. Maybe I subconsciously don’t want logic there; maybe it was pushed out by all my brains as a kid; or maybe certain parts of my cranium decide to slumber when they wouldn’t in a normal person. Regardless, I have been blessed with a gift; a gift of crazy stories and tales that I remember the next morning if I’m lucky.
I’ve decided to pass these little nuggets of nonsense on to you, dear reader, in hopes that you find them entertaining and maybe even a bit inspiring (but probably not in most cases).
So without further ado, here is the first and perhaps most memorable dream I ever had: The Cat Card dream.
One humid summer day, my family and I were preparing to go on our annual trip to go visit family in Kansas, which was about two days drive away. However, there was a big storm, and so my family decided to wait till the next day to leave. We didn’t stay at our perfectly fine house though; no no. We packed all our stuff and braved the storm for a few minutes in order to walk over to the neighbors’ house.
It was there that my dad pulled me aside into one of the back rooms.
“I need to tell you something important,” he said as he sat me down on the bed. He pulled out a playing card with an obese orange tabby cat on it. The cat was lying on its belly, with a somewhat surprised look on its face, and there was a paper sleeve around the middle third of the card. “I got this card, and I’ve heard some odd things about it. People say that if you remove the paper sleeve and look at the entire cat, you roll up into a little ball and die. I don’t believe them though, so I’m going to look at the whole cat.”
And he did. And he rolled up into a little ball in midair, there was the sound of a little bell, and he was gone. Forever.
It is now assumed that I am the keeper of the Cat Card. But I am a horrible master, and people start dropping like flies. There are so many funerals that my 2nd grade class starts going to them together instead of with our families, and we barely go to class. I go to the funerals of my classmates’ siblings, and the most notable of these is the funeral of the Amazon-child (no, I’m not trying to be racist; that’s apparently what everyone called him in the dream) that my friend’s family had adopted, and while he had lived in the States for awhile, he still only wore a loincloth. We all went to Brazil and watched his funeral happen on the river, and even though the funeral was in the Amazon, we still came back home by van.
It was on this journey that I pulled the card out of my pocket to show my friends.
“Listen guys, I heard that this is the card that is causing all of this, but I don’t think it actually hurts people. I think I’m going to look at the whole thing.”
And I did. And I rolled up into a little ball in midair. And there was a bell. And I disappeared.
The end! Now for the kicker: I had this dream when I was only 8 years old. I promise I was a normal child during the day, I really do.